October 2008
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Sign: You can't tell the plaintiff from the... →
The Dow Jones industrial average futures fell as much as 550 points, triggering...
– (via AP)
Sign: So many people want to sell stocks, that the government won’t let them.
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Sign: Things are getting so bad here that even... →
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Tip: Eat Ferrero Rocher Chocolates
Not only will they give you enough sugar to power you through any “Emergency Cost Cutting Meeting” your boss will throw at you, if you save up enough of the wrappers you might be able to melt them down into gold. And bury it in your backyard. To trade with the Russians in exchange for your freedom.
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Sign: This election has become a referendum on...
People Magazine: Tina Fey plays you sort of bubble-headed...
Sarah Palin: That's funny. I play her bubble-headed too when I imitate her.
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Sign: MillerCoors Discontinues Zima: Americans... →
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Sign: We all may have to depend on the world's... →
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Sign: Even the bedrock of America, Will Smith, the... →
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Sign: We're not even allowed to watch one of the... →
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Sign: Honesty is starting to take priority in... →
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Sign: Senior Citizens Care About Politics. Enough... →
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Tip: Buy Disney Stock. They are clearly the only... →
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Sign: Marcia! Marcia! Marcia! Did Quaaludes,... →
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Sign: Canadian banks are declared the soundest in... →
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Sign: Even One of Our Most Decorated Olympians... →
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Nailing down Senator Obama’s various tax proposals is like nailing Jello...
– Sign: Several very smart advisors thought that making this joke in front of 50+ million Americans would a) be funny and b) persuade people that whoever made this joke should lead this sinking ship.
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Tip: Dig Through Your Drawers and Back Packs
Remember that backpacking trip you took freshman year of college?
Yes, Amsterdam is fucking crazy. We all know about the weed there. Promise, we do. We also remember how cheap a pint of beer was in Prague. We swear. Those good times could lead to relative prosperity in these damn dark times we now find ourselves in.
Your hangover in the airport on your return probably prevented you from cashing...
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Sign: There Is No More Non-Sensical Yelling And... →
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